It's hard to believe that it has been almost 2 years now that I have been struggling with anxiety. I've come a long way since then, but I still have a long way to go. I recently had received the Midwest Center's program for overcoming anxiety from my boyfriend's mother (how sweet of her :) ). I've been using the program, but am just in the early stages of it. It keeps me super busy though because it has reading material, homework assignments, audio lessons, and a DVD with sessions I have to watch. I'm not complaining though, anything that will help me through this is A-Okay with me! I just wanted to apologize for not updating this blog as much as I'd like to.
When I had my first panic attack almost 2 years ago, everything changed. I had this really intense fear of leaving the apartment. I didn't even want to go downstairs to check the mail. The thought of leaving the apartment would put me in such a panicked state; so I didn't. I guess I felt that if I stayed at home, there would be less of a chance that I had another panic attack. The apartment was my "safe" place.
Anxiety disorders are a terrible thing to experience at any age, but being a young female fresh out of college, it devastated me. My social life died completely. The career I thought I would pursue had to be put on hold. Even the simplest things like going to the bank to pay bills was out of the question at that time.
Luckily, I'm doing better, and I am getting better everyday. Like I said, I'm not "there" yet, but when I look back at how bad it was, I realize that I've come a long way. I try and go out regularly, though some days it is A LOT harder than others.
Anyways, I thought I'd share that little bit of information about myself. I hope it explains my absence on this blog. I will be posting regularly from here on out at My Complex, Simple Life. How liberating it feels to be able to express my feelings without shame. For so long I had felt inadequate/flawed....
Oh one last thing, with the program, I had to cut caffeine from my diet. Going from almost 2 pots of coffee every day to nothing was a scary process! But now I am all about the tea, and I feel less anxious overall. If you suffer from anxiety, I suggest you try this!
Big Hugs! i struggle with anxiety as well (not as intense) and its a hard battle! im so glad you are taking a course, and caffines affects are crazy eh? LD keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI have anxiety as well, I know what you mean by saying you felt inadequate/flawed. The past two years I have been diagnosed w a learning disability (which made me feel stupid), anxiety (which made me feel weak),a mood disorder (made me worry ppl would think I was crazy), and ADD (which made me feel like a freak). As a bio major, I see these things as a weakness, I sometimes see myself as the weak link so I have to remind myself that I'm not. Its nice to know there are other people going through the same thing and that it will get better:)
ReplyDeleteps Belinda, Im hurrying I still need to send the package:)
@Casey May
ReplyDeleteI had felt like the "weakest link" before too. I think it's really important to surround yourself with people who truly care about you (whether you have anxiety, etc or not). I had allowed people in my life to bring me down, so I had to dismiss them. My life, and dealing with my anxiety is a lot easier now that they are not around! :) Hey, if you ever need to talk with someone, you have my email Casey!! and that is okay about the package, I know you'll eventually send it :)